16 June, 2017
The main reason I’m so passionate about my A Yogafied Life coaching program is, that I absolutely love working alongside women as they learn to show up for themselves. What does it mean to ‘show up’ for yourself?
Showing up might mean getting to your practice every day in some way, shape or form. Showing up might be eating mindfully. Showing up might be observing the thoughts in your mind with equal measures of scrutiny and compassion.
When you start showing up for yourself miracles happen.
I’m not messing around when I say that. It’s like the universe, which has seemingly ignored you for your whole life, is now right alongside you and starts sending you gift after gift after gift. Like any good parent, the universe knows that for your highest truth to be experienced, self-belief must be rewarded.
The self-belief I have in myself has come and gone in sets of waves my whole adult life. When I judged that things were aligning for me, like having an amazing job opportunity, dating a nice guy or moving to an exciting new city, self-belief would sky rocket and I’d feel on top of the world.
But as soon as the job became uninspiring, the city felt inhospitable, and the guy turned out to be Sauron all that supposed self belief would plummet and I’d be back to Wednesday Adams levels of enthusiasm for life.
To do life well, life requires that you believe in yourself.
It is the ultimate quid pro quo. You do this for me and I’ll do that for you. As a child I was taught to ‘believe it when you see it’ but as an adult I’ve had to unlearn that and re teach myself that to ‘see it you need to believe it’. My teacher Mark taught me that.
I think it’s fair to say I am well read on the subject of The Law of Attraction. It is a beautiful, simple teaching that has proven itself time and time again in my life and in the lives of my students. Understanding this theory, coupled with my consistent daily meditation practice has helped me to reveal a few hidden diamonds in my own experience.
However, something I’ve also come to appreciate is we must be careful not to take the spiritual bypass. This is where we use spiritual practices to avoid facing unresolved emotional issues.
My greatest emotional issue has been my anxiety, which over the years I have tried to drown out with a whole host of impressive distractions. Over-spending, binge drinking, wasting time in draining relationships, giving 5% attention to creative projects, being self centred and simply just not caring, which in hindsight I see was all about fear of failure and how I am seen in the world.
I like to refer to the voice of my anxiety as Mrs Havisham –the crazy lady in Great Expectations who’s fiancé walked out on her on her wedding day so she refused to get out of her wedding dress for 40 years. I’ve spent a lot of painful days listening to Mrs Havisham. Overthinking and over analysing every irrelevant little thing.
Through the process of my daily yoga practice I have been able to create a little moat around Mrs Havisham. This space has allowed me to start a dialogue with her, so when I do notice her showing up rather than me showing up, I simply get very kind and very compassionate and curiously ask “WHAT are you doing here?” Learning to name and express what I’m feeling has been essential in accepting my anxiety, rather than its control of me.
Ultimately it’s the work I’ve done in meditation, my own self-enquiry and self-discipline that has helped me to develop a better relationship with myself. Then I take that relationship out in to the world, and I can happily say this has had the added bonus of healing and improving all of my relationships.
Our vulnerabilities must be loved.
Ignore the darkness in you at your own peril, as it’s not going anyway unless it is brought in to the light. I know now I wouldn’t be the women I am had I not had my Mrs Havisham years.
What do you need to become to create what you truly desire?
For most people this scares the absolute sh*t out of them, and so it should. Achieving greatness in life can come quickly and painlessly, but it will always involve letting go of something you have wrongly identified with.
I have experienced a great depth of self-inflicted emotional pain and over the years have been extremely lucky to resolve many of those wounds through the various wellbeing methods I have explored.
I have been successful.
Successful in finding deep, unreserved gratitude for the most ordinary things like a pair of jammy hands on my pyjama leg at breakfast, a cup of tea with a dear friend, or my sister’s warm embrace.
Now it is my passion to share these simple things with you. To help you to see how believing in yourself is the first step on a journey inward towards living and being from the heart. The place where all yoga, of any real value, will lead you.
If you're curious to explore the stories around your self-belief, I invite you to book a 15 minute clarity call with me. Let me help you get clear on what it is you want to create more of in life and support you in achieving it.
If you'd like to join me for an afternoon of rejuvenating yoga and inspiring self enquiry, book my next A Diamond In A Rush workshop, hosted at Yoga Essence studio Birkenhead Saturday 1st of July.
Look forward to connecting with you soon!